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Melissa

The Resolute Intention Setter

Updated: Mar 16, 2022



Ah yes…many of us set our New Year’s Resolutions on December 31 or perhaps even January 1 and by many are reading this particular blog…the Resolution has fallen by the wayside. Gone and possibly forgotten in the myriad of this journey we call life. The resolutions we set for ourselves may have varied. Lose weight, spend more time with family, obtain a promotion at work or finally build that three month emergency savings fund.


Then something happens. You may have been blind sided or you could see it coming from a mile away WITHOUT your glasses. It could be a distraction, a bad response from your beloveds or what feels like an insurmountable task. And, then we let the intention, the goal, the dream go. We relinquish the Resolution we spent days or weeks developing and send it to the deep, dark abyss. It is possible that these resolutions go to the same place as the curious missing sock? Perhaps. Anyway, We may even forget about their existence until next December rolls around and in the spirit of the season, we recall that desire. Whoops! But, what if it didn’t have to be that way?


What if we could set an intention for our lives, our years and/or our months and maintain them until they no longer serve us? We can! It will take diligent effort and it may not be easy, but we can do it. You might not find that sock, though.


Picture it! Paris, France - 2024 and you are on the balcony sipping the most delicious cup of coffee. What? Just me? Okay, continuing on…


There are ideas that turned into action that could spur on holding onto that resolution, but making it happen: creating a habit, visualization, surrounding yourself with likeminded people, locating a mentor who is a supportive, critical thinker. You also need to set your why/reason. It is easy to drop something if your why is non existent and not fully thought out. You want to lose weight…great…why? It is purely to fit into your prom dress from 30, 20, 10 years ago? Or, are you lacking the confidence you felt as a teenager and would like to reclaim the energy now? Your desire to fit into the dress will fade easily, but that feeling your recall vividly…that can last much longer.


Feel it. Believe it. Talk about it with trusted people. Don’t even mention it to folks who you do not trust. Constructive criticism is productive. However, someone tearing you down because they cannot see the vision is destructive . Discouragement when you are trying to build is not helpful. Work on it. Plan. Dedicate time to it on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Check in with yourself and do your own monthly or quarterly review. Yes. It sounds like a lot of work. Netflix and Chill sounds alot more fun…as does a drink with the girls. DO THAT! Enjoy it, fully. Netflix and Chill. Hang with your friends. Take time away to do something, anything else. But, don’t remain there if your goal is growth. We are not about the #TeamNoSleep or the #GrindCulture ‘round these here parts. Take your nap! Eat a snack. Go for a walk or paint your nails (don’t do all of these at once…your snack will taste terrible and things will get SUPER messy). However, you must realize that the actualization of your goal does not reside in what didn’t help you achieve it in the first place.


You can’t do what you always did to get to a new place or position…moving on…


This may look like going to hang out with your beloveds and only spending two hours of a four-hour night. Or, it may mean that instead of weekly hang outs, you spend time every other week or once a month. Yes. This is hard. However, you set out on a path for a reason…and you already have that why…what was it again? You’re avoiding Cheesecake Factory b/c you are busting your budget or you feel you’re falling too deeply into consumer culture. You’re exercising because your knees hurt and you have every intention of walking up each set of stairs that you can inside of the Eiffel Tower once COVID is a distant memory.

Perhaps your resolution is notably simple. Some things in life are complex in their simplicity, but you could choose to focus on ONE word for the year. You could focus your intentions on: Growth, Peace, Prosperity, Health, Wellness, Joy or my favorite, Boundaries.


Keep your word as a focus in your daily routine. Reflect on it when you journal or even when you set your schedule for the day. Maybe you choose to write it in calligraphy. If you are driving, I recommend NOT placing a framed picture of a word on your dashboard. It would be a decidedly BAD idea, but maybe you can keep it in your wallet. Heck, a Post-it Note taped to the glove compartment will suffice. Check in with yourself regularly to see if what you are doing, saying, visualizing or surrounding yourself is aligning with the word that you are keeping dear to you. If it is NOT in alignment…something needs to shift. What shifts in your world is up to you. But, if you set a focus for Growth and you realize that your relationship…regardless of the nature, holds you back from your efforts and focus…what are you doing? And, why are you doing it? This is a question between you, your higher power, your journal and/or your mentor.


Good luck locating that sock.


Be well.





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